SURROGATES (2009 - Cert 12a)

We all love robots. We especially love real robots. Everyone loves to watch footage of those Japanese Tech Expos where the latest and greatest in artificial intelligence is revealed, which ultimately turns out to be something that resembles a pedal bin that can only really polish your shoes or warn you when it's about to walk (rolL or waddle) into something. We love watching those things because essentially they are a bit shit and that is inherently funny. They are a bit shit of course when compared to the offerings that films, TV and comic books have been giving us over the years. They even make Johnny 5 look a bit tasty.

Cinema has been obsessed with the robot, or android or cyborg, whatever you want to call it, for years. Think back to iconic films such as Star Wars, Blade Runner, The Terminator, AI, Robocop, Metropolis, Westworld, Alien, Aliens, Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, all films that are either about or feature robots. Recent years haven't done anything to stem the tide of the onslaught either, so what is it with robots? Why are film makers and cinema goers so keen on them? Well with the exception of the frankly stupid Transformers films, robots are the perfect device to explore what it means to be human. As people strive to create machines that can do all that we can, what is that we possess that they never will. It's a compelling theme and one that continues to be revisited, with varying levels of success.



Surrogates is one the latest films to have a crack at it. Directed by Jonathan Mostow, who has brought us U-571, Terminator 3 and Breakdown (all solid and dependable films), it's set at some point in the near future where Surrogates have been invented to lead our everyday lives. A surrogate is essentially a remarkably human-like, idealistic (a more beautiful and younger version) remote control robot. The humans sit at home, not getting dressed or washed, in a matrix-like chair set-up, controlling their unit with their thoughts. The main selling point is that it is safer for humans as they will not encounter violence or disease as it is their surrogates that have to face the elements. That is until a weapon is found that kills both the surrogate and the owner at the same time.

That's where Bruce Willis steps in as a detective who is assigned to the case, along with his partner played by Radha Mitchell. They are of course playing their Surrogates, who are creepy and expressionless, very Stepford Wives looking. Willis looks particularly odd with hair, in fact my girlfriend who was dipping in and out of the film, said at one point 'Ah it's an old Bruce Willis film'. He clearly enjoys himself, playing this weird version of himself with a blond Hitler haircut. He is his usual watchable self. During the first part of the film it very much resembles a standard detective thriller/film noir. The monotone surrogates adding to the downbeat tone already created by the slow score over the top of the action. It's a decent and mysterious opening to the film and I must admit that it exceeded what I was expecting.

Then Willis loses his surrogate and has to head out in to the big wide world on his own. It's an interesting idea, a human thrust into a now alien world full of robots. That's it really though, thats as far as it gets. An idea. Nothing is made of him stepping out of his comfort zone and back outdoors. It's a shame because I imagine that there should be a lot of material and mileage in that. It's just an older version of the Willis before but grumbling a bit more and aching.

The film itself loses it's way as well. The plot tries to twist and turn to keep up the film noir vibe, but struggles despite some nice espionage/disguise touches. The supporting cast including Ving Rhames and Rosamund Pike (who I didn't recognise at all) have a go at keeping it interesting with sub plot attempts at making the film worthwhile sci-fi which ultimately fail, not through any fault of their own, but more because the strands of story are overly contrived and totally signposted. Ideas we've seen before but done much better and much more subtly.

The final sequence has the surrogates acting like super-heroes, bouncing around with ridiculous strength, only making me wonder why they were just strolling around the streets if they were able to leap 30 feet in the air. All a bit silly. Then there is a plot point at the very end that feels tacked on just to give the film an ending that is supposed to make us think. It's shoe-horned in with an incredibly poor piece of shoddy exposition. One of those moments where you really are in shock, how did someone get paid for that?

It's all perfectly watchable but totally unremarkable, not remotely memorable and unoriginal (it more than whiffs of I, Robot). It's 90 minutes that do whizz by, but you can't help feel that that time could have been better spent, perhaps by watching any of the films I mentioned a few paragraphs ago. Or by watching a Japanese robot walking into cupboard doors.